Monday, December 26, 2011

Baby steps to normal...baby steps to normal.

This year hasn't been the best, but little moments in between has made it fun.

I'm finally taking the first steps to take care of myself and I want to continue that for my resolution in 2012. If the world is going to end, then I want to make sure that I'm completely happy with myself. It's the least I could do.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

What I'm Thankful For: The 2011 Edition

This year I'm thankful for the following:

My family
My friends
My job
My co-workers
My car still running even though everything else is falling apart on it.
My iPhone & iPad
The ability to wake up and enjoy the day.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I really have to remind myself that people like/love me. I don't know why I always feel like I'm being a burden on others. It hit me last night that people do care and I need to stop pushing them away. I don't know what it is about me.

Last night after work, we went and met up with some co-workers and my manager (awkberg). During one of the many conversations I over hear him saying in the back of his mind he knows he can talk me into doing anything. I heard this and said "really?" and he goes "is that a challenge?" and I freak out and go "no challenge" but in my mind I know he could talk me into doing anything and I kind of hate myself for it. I don't want to be one of those girls who does whatever a guy says.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

When someone says they need to talk to you, but aren't ready to talk to you yet...wtf is that suppose to mean?!?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Heart to Heart

I want to have a heart to heart with someone. I had a heart to heart with my moleskine the other night, but it was a one-sided conversation.

Honestly I feel like I need a system restore and go back to a point in my life where I felt good family/money/friends wise.

Also why do I feel so awkward with people? Why do I say some of the dumbest stuff to people guys in general? There are lots of times where I could catch myself saying/said something stupid and I'm just like "ugh why did I say that?"

Sometimes I feel like it's easier to just be a wallflower and sit back and let life pass on by.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Dreams

I had a really good dream the other night. It was one of those dreams where I wish I didn't wake up from. I wish I could go back to it.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Irritated

I've been in a pissed off mood for 2 days now. This is very unusual for me. I'm just over everything.

Monday, May 30, 2011

It Happened.

Grandma passed away this morning at 6am.

Hopefully work will let me have Thursday-Monday off.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Denial is a river in Egypt.

Grandma smiled at me today when I went and saw her. I know I'm just being dumb, but I believed that everything going on right now isn't as bad as it seems. Just that one smile from here made me know she's not ready to go yet and that the nurse and my aunt overreacted with the "she'll die in 48 hours" talk.

Either way I'm making sure that my parents are okay. I don't want to see them crying because if I do I know I'll cry and I really don't want to because I have to be the strong one around here. It'll be hard, but I know I can do it.


Kunya,
When you feel it's the right time to enter heaven, go ahead. We won't stay in the way of you to meet up with your sisters and God.

Love,
Nong Fon

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Cherry on top.

To top of my day (which was a mix of "I'm feeling awesome" to "I feel like shit")

I come home to find out that my grandma's health has gone so downhill that the nurse is saying death is coming soon.

I'm not ready for this.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Worried.

When I get a text from a co-worker where all they say is "serious talk tomorrow"

It means I'm going to be up worrying about it all night.

Thanks a lot.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Dreams

Last night I had a dream where I was pregnant.

According to the dream dictionary:

"To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal."

Let's hope it's something good y/y?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Fate?



This song came on while texting a certain friend of mine.

Yeah...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Random crushes are random.

Yeah I feel a little boy crazy right now.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Work, work, work, all day long....

My mom just came into my room and told me to be careful what I say at work. If I say something without thinking and it comes out wrong, I'm going to be making some enemies. The good news is that my higher bosses will have my back if something comes up, but pretty much I just have to relax and not get flustered at work.

Game plan: small post-it's to remind my team where their registers are, make them lists since apparently there's too much for them to remember, give them time limits to finish their tasks, and make sure their tasks are completed before they leave. If their tasks aren't done in the allotted time ask them why it wasn't done and hold them accountable.
Also remember to have one-on-one with them to remind them what I expect out of them and what kind of support they need from me.

If this plan fails, then I don't know what else to do.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Anxiety

I haven't talked with my dad in a while.

It's not that I don't want to talk to him, but whenever I pick up the phone to call him I start having a panic attack. I keep having thoughts of getting a phone call saying something bad happened to him and it's scaring me. I feel like a horrible person, but I can't shake these thoughts out of my head. Oy I'm having a hard time breathing right now.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Note to self:

Don't make a friend into a co-worker.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ugh.

I hate infatuations.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

What a Difference a Year Makes

If you don't recall about a year ago I was let go from Starbucks after being there for 6 years. Well after working at my new job for 8 months I'm now the opening team lead for my store. So between my promotion and finally graduating from college...I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

And yes I've notice that I'm smiling more, shocker right?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

2010 Survey...

I completely forgot to do one for 2010. Better late than never...

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Got fired from a job and went on unemployment

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Honestly I don't remember what I resolved to do last year and I probably won't make any for 2011

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Some of my mom's co-workers gave birth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Midnight my beloved rat terrier, may she rest in peace.

5. What countries did you visit?
I don't even have a passport...

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A salaried job

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 17: I got fired from a job that I complained about, but I really did love it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The Giants won the World Series and I finally fucking graduated!

9. What was your biggest failure?
2010 felt like a failure for me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just your average colds

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to Weezer's Memories tour

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends who listened to me complaining about getting fired.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Lots of people, but mostly those teen mom girls...like seriously MTV is glorifying teen pregnancy and motherhood.

14. Where did most of your money go?
bills since I'm getting paid half of what I used to make.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Brian Johnson, Gideon Glick, Jonathan B Wright, Jonathan Groff, Jr. John Gallagher AKA Boys from Spring Awakening - The Bitch of Living

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: Sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Networking

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinating

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Home with family

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
The 2010 SF Giants had my heart

23. How many one-night stands?
Negative

24. What was your favorite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, Glee, The Big Bang Theory, and Mad Men

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not really

26. What was the best book you read?
I re-read Catcher In The Rye lots of times

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
David Choi

28. What did you want and get?
Passing FIN 350 and getting my diploma

29. What did you want and not get?
A real job...and by that I mean salaried and full time with nice benefits

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Toy Story 3

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 26 and went to dinner with a friend and watched The Blind Side

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A steady job

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I describe it as "I don't give a fuck about how I look"

34. What kept you sane?
music, friends/twitter friends, and tumblr

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The 2010 SF Giants

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
CA Governor race because I felt like I had to pick the person who wouldn't fuck the state up the most

37. Who did you miss?
Lots of people

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I'd say my current co-workers right now are pretty cool.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
One bad decision can/will come back and bite you in the ass.

Note to self:

Love yourself and others will love you back.