I converted another one

I think Jason Mraz should start paying me or come to my store to personally thank me for showing people the awesomeness of his music. Actually...I'll take a signed poster and a picture...and a hug...oh definitely a hug maybe a kiss on the cheek since we're at it. /dream

Anyways...every time I work...at least 5-6 times I will change the music from whatever the Starbucks music player chooses (tonight our music player was really emo...all we heard were love songs) to We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things (the only bad part is that our player only plays 3 of his songs and its always either Live High, I'm Yours, Beautiful Mess, and Make it Mine)

Pretty much my co-worker (Cici) and I are loving I'm Yours and now I'm making her a Jason Mraz mixed cd...with songs that aren't on his 3 studio albums. So I think I've made him another fan.

Go me!

First off...

Merry Christmas...Chanuka Sameach...Happy Festivus...Whatever works for you.

I'm really tired...probably because I opened today...I hate opening. There is nothing natural about waking up before the sun comes out. I'm so glad I'm closing the next few shifts...you don't understand.

I'm excited about opening my presents...I don't know why...I just am...well I'm expecting Wii Music and a new keyboard so yay for that.

I need new music...I'm getting tired of my sad/love songs stuff.

I'm trying to nap, but I keep getting interrupted by people and my dog.

Boo to that people.

Talk about random...

So out of no where one of my ex-friend myspace messaged me.

I don't know how I feel about it really...I mean...thats cool that they want to talk, but I don't know. I don't want to fall into that whole circle again.

Yeah I don't trust myself with this whole situation. I'm going to need to talk with my close close close friends about this. I'm just scared with how everything is going to turn out. I mean it happened so long ago and I just...I don't remember why...I just know that I was feeling really hurt during that time. I just remember not knowing what was going to happen and I just...let them go.

I was getting ready for a summer of hotel interning and opening at starbucks. oh man that was the busiest and most tired I've been ever. I think for the average week I would sleep about 21-24 hours...3 hours before opening at starbucks and an hour before I started my shift at the hotel. I'm just glad I kept myself busy during that whole thing. It took me almost a year to stop thinking about why that all happened.

If it comes down to it...I'll take the blame...whatever, but I don't see how that would have fixed anything. There will still be this weird awkward-ness between us. I don't know if they want to talk about it or anything, but I mean if they want to...I don't know if I'm ever going to be ready to talk about it.

That's Disturbing Tara....*Sigh*

I'm sitting at my computer with raging anger inside of me.

Why? I have no clue. I'm just in one of those moods I guess.



Last night I saw some of my favorite bands ever created...Jack's Mannequin, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, Death Cab For Cutie, and The Killers.

I was meh about The Killers, but they were good. Not as good as Death Cab For Cutie though...OHHHH MANNNNNN I love them even more now. They can make me happy.

Uncomfortable...

So I'm sitting at a Starbucks in the Fillmore and I'm really uncomfortable.

I don't know if its how I'm sitting, which i doubt, but I do kinda wish their chairs had more back support. Come on Starbucks! Or maybe its the fact that I'm sitting next to people I don't know. Hmm yeah...its being next to humans that make me uncomfortable.

Anyways...

The semester is almost over and I'm looking forward to being able to do nothing for a month. I'm totally looking forward to being a complete slob and lazy ass. I'm also going to drink a lot...which is bad for my health, but so good for my mind and soul. Sorry health, you're out-numbered.


You know come to think of it...I don't think I've ever gotten that drunk before. Which is good...if you know me I don't like being in positions where I'm vulnerable. But you know that stage of drunk where you still have your bearings, but everything seems just oh-so-fine-and-hilarious...yeah that's my favorite stage of drunk. Ahh I can't wait till school is done.

I'm excited about tomorrow night...well besides the The Office being on...I'm going to Not So Silent Night! . Its like they went into my head and said "Who would Tara like to see live?" If you don't want to click on the link (lazy asses) I'll list out the lineup: Jack's Mannequin, Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand, Death Cab For Cutie, and The Killers.

I'm for excited about the first 4 bands than The Killers. The Killers are meh in my book...they have catchy songs, but something about them doesn't really sit well with me. Oh well.

What the heck! Side note...a lady just walked in with a mink coat on...I know this because she bumped into someone holding a cup and said "I hope that didn't spill on my MINK COAT!!!"

o.O srsly

Back to the concert...I'm going with some friends...who all will meet for the first time...Its a big moment. This is like bringing a boyfriend home to meet the parents. I know we'll all get along because I only hang out with awesome people.

I should probably go start writing my paper on Homosexuality and sports. Yeah that should be fun paper to write.

"...We all self conscious I'm just the first to admit it..."

I suck at keeping friends.

There is no way around it and I don't know how to fix it. My parents didn't really have a lot of friends...well they used to and then all of a sudden everyone stopped coming by our house for parties and stuff.

I guess its because my dad hates people...not all people, just the people who isn't like him. I mean people who aren't as smart and have the same amount of common sense as him and to him thats less than 1% of the whole world's population. Growing up he always made sure that my brother, my cousin, and I weren't going to be some brainless idiot, he'd always play devil's advocate and try to make us stand up for what we believed in. He pushed this belief onto my and not so much on my brother and cousin. I feel like he put the most pressure on me and goddammit I feel like a failure. Like nothing I do is enough for everyone and they're all just expecting me to know what to do like I'm the one with all the answers.

So now here I am...about to turn 24 and feeling like I'm still 15 being insecure with myself and just socially awkward...unless alcohol is involved then I feel like I should be the responsible one and not drink because I don't want any of my friends to go out and do something stupid. I need change and maybe moving back to LA and going to Law School down there would be more beneficial. I mean at least I'll be in a more familiar area, but I'll be doing something new and scary. Plus I could probably rebuild those friendships with people I had when I was in elementary and middle school. I even heard some of the people I went to school down in LA actually teach at my old middle school.

But I digress...I just need a new start somewhere.

Here I go

Well first off I'm totally procrastinating on my papers for school. Ahh yes I'm still in school...second to last semester at SFSU [For those of you who don't know what that stands for...its San Francisco State University]

Yeah I should be working on those right now since it is a group paper and its due on Monday, but I think I'll take a break from "college" writing and just write for the hell of it.

I guess I should do a mini-biography since this is my first blog on here and I know the 3 people who read this probably don't know me. So here it goes...

I'm Tara born and lived in Los Angeles, CA until I was 6 when my dad moved us to San Gabriel, CA where we lived until I was 13. That's when my mom, brother, and I moved to Daly City, CA, a suburb outside San Francisco where I attended high school and now college.

Like I said before I'm currently attending San Francisco State where I'm majoring in Hospitality Management concentrating on Restaurants. Oh I should also say that I'm Thai, both my parents are from Bangkok, Thailand and came to the U.S. in the 70's. My parents have pictures of themselves in bell bottoms and riding around in a Volkswagen beetle. And yes...I do have family members who own Thai restaurants.

Work wise I'm a supervisor at well known coffee shop [take a guess...and no its not Peet's or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf] and I'm kinda hating my job. I mean don't get me wrong I like it when I work with people I like and the customers are nice, but most of the time I'm trying to understand broken English and get treated pretty rough by the "educated" people who think my job is the equivalent to McDonald's. Which I beg to differ, but no one ever wants to hear a barista's opinion.

I'm looking for something new to do...maybe going back to hotels. For my major I had to intern somewhere in the hospitality field and I did my at a hotel. I kinda miss the hotels...I mean it was pretty chill unless it was a busy night and no one really trained me that well since I was an intern and I was working for free. Now I wish I took that job offer. dammit dammit dammit. Anyways I should probably go back to my papers. I have about four papers that are due in the next 2 weeks.

That's what I get for procrastinating.